Tenten's Epic Adventure
by animeice335
Summary: When Tenten's one true love, Hyuuga Neji, mysteriously disappears right before her eyes, it's up to her to find him. However, this is unlike any mission tackled by any shinobi before. And yes, it's EPIC. Crossover fic with Tales of Symphonia and Legendia.
1. Neji!

**Konoha**

Tentens head slow came up over the bush. Neji was across the street on a bench, reading a newspaper. He moved the paper slightly so he could see past it, scouting for something. Tenten quickly ducked her head. Neji noticed rustling from a nearby bush. "Byakugan." He whispered. All of a suddden he looked like he had seen a ghost.

He slowly got up and started to walk away. Tentens head came out of the bushes. "Neji!" The Hyuga took off like lighting down the road. Tenten raced after him. Out of nowhere a beam came out of the sky and enveloped Neji.

"What?" Neji covered his eyes as he tried to look up into the light. "Neji?" Tenten halted. The light went back up into the sky, taking Neji with it.

**Lloyds House**

Lloyd stretched out his arms and yawned. "Wonder what the others are doing today?" He went over and opened up his bedroom door, coming face to face with Colette. Lloyd jumped back. "Whoa?! Oh, its Colette. You'd think Id be used to that by now...When did you get here?"

"YAAY! LLOYDIE!! Well, I got here an hour ago. I've been waiting for you." She stated with a big smile.

"So you've been waiting here the whole time? In front of my door?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes." She answered.

"Umm...k..." Lloyd said a little weirded out.

2 minutes went by...

Lloyd sighed, they were still standing there. "Colette, instead of staring at me, how about you move so I can go downstairs."

"OK!" Colette overloudly exclaimed. She moved out of the doorway and they went downstairs.

Colette followed Lloyd outside. Lloyd looked out the corner of his eye then groaned in frustration. Lloyd turned around to face Colette. "Why dont you wear this Colette, its a hat I got for you."

Colettes usually dumb grin turned into an even bigger dumb smile."YAAAAAAY!!" Colette took the paper bag and placed it over her head. "I cant see." She stated as she fell over a chair.

"Good. Then you cant see me." Lloyd whispered to himself.

Genis came up to him. "Hey Lloyd! What are you doing today?"

"I dont know. Probably nothing." Lloyd answered, sighing.

Genis noticed Colette walking into a wall, he groaned. "Lloyd, she already runs into enough things without anything covering her eyes."

"But I'm so tired of her staring at me!" Lloyd yelled in frustration.

"Lloyd, everyone's tired of her period. I know you just want her to go away forever, but we already talked about this..." Genis said.

Lloyd rolled his eyes. "I know, I know. 'The odds of Colette dying on her own is very unlikely. Nomatter how many times she falls off a cliff or gets caught in an explosion she still comes out without a scratch. So if she actually wound up dead it would have to be un-natural, and that would involve going to jail."

Genis sighed. "Sorry Lloyd. At least cut a hole in the bag so she'll be able to breath. I have to go, cya." Genis waved goodbye and left.

"Lloyd? Lloyd where are you?" Colette called out falling over a barrel. Lloyd whimpered. "I'm all alone again!"

A light came down from the sky and covered him. "Huh?" Lloyd looked up. "Aliens?" Then he was taken back up into the sky.

"What was that noise?" Colette asked, lying on the ground.

**Werites Beacon**

"Bitch! If I ever catch you looking at Senel again Ill kill you!" Shirley threatened the trembling bakery owner.

"B-but I was j-just giving him t-the bread h-he asked for..."Squeaked the poor girl.

"I dont care if you gave him a frickin cupcake! Senel is mine!" With that she skipped out of the shop.

Senel was waiting for her outside with an annoyed look on his face. "Shirley, why do you do that?!"

"Do what?" Shirley answered with an innocent look.

"You know what, terrorizing the baker because I bought some bread from her. You probably traumatized the poor girl." Senel said loudly, getting irritated.

Tears started pouring out of Shirley's eyes. "Why Senel?" Shirley put her head in her hands. "Why do you accuse me of things I dont do?" Her eyes peered over the top of her hands. "Chloe hasn't been saying things has she?"

"I just heard you! Even with the bakery windows closed I could hear you! No, Chloe hasn't said anything. Even though everyone already knows about the threatening letters you tape to her door." Senel snapped.

Shirley bawled even more. "Seneeeeeel! Why are you being so mean? I never did any of those things?"

"Ughhh! God your crazy!" Senel groaned in frustration and started walking away.

"Seneeeeel! WAIT!" Shirley cried, chasing after him.

A light shot out of the sky and hit Senel. He stumbled backwards in surprise. "Light...?" Senel asked in confusion. In the next second it disappeared, taking Senel with it.

Shirley stared in bewilderment. After a few seconds her expression turned from surprise to anger. "I bet Chloe's behind this!"

**Konoha**

"Neji?" Tenten asked, looking into his room.

"Neji?" Tenten asked again, looking into his kitchen.

"Neji?" Under his bed.

"Neji?" In his closet.

"Neji?" Behind the TV.

"Neji?" In the toilet.

"Neji?" In the trash can.

Sakura walked by and saw Tentens legs sticking out of the top of the trash can.

"Tenten why are you going through Nejis trash? Are you trying to find another pair of his thrown out underwear?"

Tenten climbed out of the trash can with a banana peel sticking to the side of her head.

"I'm looking for Neji! I've already looked everywhere! Even in his toilet!"

"Ummm...Are you even allowed in his house? I thought he had a restraining order? Also, why would he be in the toilet? You'd need a toilet the size of Choji's for someone to fit in it. Oh, and by the way, you stink." Sakura stepped back and made a waving motion with her hand.

Tenten sniffed the air. "Bye, I think I smell Neji." Tenten took off down the road.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Smell? Weirdo."

--

Tenten picked up a candy bar wrapper and smelled it. "Neji ate this...but, it seems old..." Tenten slumped on the ground. "Ohhhh...where'd Neji go?

Suddenly, a floating image of Kikyo appeared before Tentens eyes. Tenten gasped. "Aren't you in the wrong show?"

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. No one likes me in my show anyway. There is a reason I came here though. Tenten...I am your father."

Tentens eyes widened. "You are?! But I thought you were a woman?"

Kikyo shook her head.

"So your my father? Well, that would explain why I never had any parents. And why I live in a broken down shack on the outskirts of the village."

"I have something very important to tell you. Neji...he has been kidnapped by evil forces. I have come here to help you. I have to warn you...well, actually I dont. But I'm going to anyway so I dont get sued in case a death occurs. If you choose to, I can send you on a journey that will have very dangerous and probably some extremely ridiculously random situations. But, if you succeed you will get Neji back."

"I can? How? Where'd he go?" Tenten asked.

"Take this." Kikyo held out her hand, a pink glowing orb appeared. Slowly it floated down to Tenten. She held out her hands and caught it. The orb dispersed and its place was a stone bowl.

"What's this?" Tenten asked, looking it over.

"Its a bowl that was given to me by a 10 year old girl who died protecting it. I promise to protect it for her a few seconds before she died. Two hours later I effortlessly gave it to Kagura, which lead to the event of the moon princess almost destroying the world. So in one day I broke a dieing little girls promise and almost ended human kind."

Kikyo lowered her head towards the ground, staring at it sorrowfully. "I regret that day so much. If it hadn't been for my kindless actions...Kagomae and Inuyasha wouldn't have kissed...Anyway, a few days after the event the stone bowl washed up on shore and I found it. Well, back to the original point, I have infused it with a spell that will allow you to cross dimensions. Though, the spell requires that you cross through the dimensions in something that resembles the bowl. Sadly, the first thing I thought of was a toilet instead of a trash can or a hole or something. I could change it but I'm lazy and I dont feel like wasting my spiritual power on you. You already smell anyway so the the toilet thing shouldn't matter."

Kikyo yawned. "What else? Oh, yes. There will be two other people like you. There looking for the ones they have an obsession with too. You should join them in your quest."

Tenten held up a hand. "Don't you mean 'the ones their in love with'?"

"No." Kikyo turned to the side. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to go. If you have any other questions too bad for you" Kikyo took out her bow and arrow then aimed. "Kagomae you slut! If you ever lay your hands on Inuyasha again I'll shove this arrow down your throat!" Kikyos image flickered and disappeared.

--

Tenten took one last look around her room. "Bye Neji-faced pillows. Bye Neji shaped bed. Bye wallpaper that has various pictures of Neji on it. Bye giant Neji blow-up doll. Bye-" (10 minutes later...)"-aked Neji collage I have on the mirror. Oh! I almost forgot!" Tenten jumped up on her bed. A pair of underwear hung from a tack above her bed post.

"I'm going to take you with me. That way I wont be alone at night. You'll be a good luck charm too." She stuffed the underwear in her backpack then headed off toward Nejis house.

--

Tenten held the stone bowl up to the toilet. The water turned multicolored and started spinning. "Nejiiiiiiiiii!" Tenten cried out as she jumped into the swirling vortex.


	2. Lloydie?

(Iselia)  
Tenten popped her head out of the toilet. "Where am I? Is this where Neji is?" As she climbed out of the human waste disposal, there was a loud banging seconds after the noise stopped an "Ouchie" was muttered.

Tenten wandered out of the small bathroom and looked around. From what she could tell, it a was a wooden house. Alot bigger then her shack.

A figure in white clumsily lifted itself off the floor. "Lloydie? Where'd you go?" Said a voice coming from the inside of a brown paper bag.

Tenten took the bag off the person."Does that help?" The girl blinked a few times. "I can see! Wheres Lloydie?" The blonde asked, vigorously looking around the room.

"Who's Lloydie?"

Colette, as if she was noticing Tenten for the first time, turned to her. "Lloydie is Lloydie silly, who else would Lloydie be. Do you know where Lloydie is?

"I dont think I know a Lloydie. By the way, where am I?"

"Silly, your in Lloydies house!" The stupid blonde answered.

Tenten scratched her head. "Um...Where is Lloydies house at?"  
"In Lloydies yard"

Tenten frowned. "Ok, where is Lloydies yard at?"

"On a mountain"

All of a sudden the theme-song to "Winx Club" started playing throughout the house.

Tenten scanned the room but could not find a radio or speaker.

In her head Colette was dancing.

After the theme ended Kikyo appeared in the middle of the room.  
"Hello freaks." He/she greeted.

"Thats not nice..." Colette said, looking somewhat sad.

"Shut-up stupid"

"Ok"

"Where did that music come from?" Tenten asked Kikyo.

"I've decided to have a song play everytime I appear, it adds more entertainment to the story. All the songs are picked by me of course. I'm not going to make my grand entrance to a shitty song. Anyway, I'm here again to give you advice to help you along in your journ-" Kikyo abruptly stopped and looked down.

Colette was poking his/her foot, which was making his/her image flicker.

"What are you doing?" Kikyo demanded.

Colette looked up. "Why are you all see-through? And how come I can put my hand through you? Are you a ghost?"

"No. I'm an astral-projection. Like a hologram." The priest/priestess replied.

"Oh...whats that?"

Kikyo grabbed the side of his/her head. "UGH! If I could only!...As I was saying, I've come to tell you that-" She/he was cut off as his/her image flickered again.

"Keep your hands to yourself!" Kikyo snapped, glaring at Colette.

Colette quickly pulled her finger away.

Keeping an eye on Colette Kikyo started talking again. "Oh, I forgot, since I was rudely interrupted. This idiot is Colette. Ugly, meet stupid. Stupid, meet ugly. Now shake hands"

Tenten and Colette did as they were told.

"Hi Ugly!" The blonde over loudly greeted.

"Hi Colette. Umm, my names Tenten"

"Oh, hi Tenten. You smell nice! It reminds me of Lloydies poo"

"Thank you"

"I have to hurry and get to the point, I just saw Onigumo run through the woods naked. Lloyd was captured by the same evil force that took Neji. So you two are going to have to work together to save them."

Colettes eyes bulged out of her head. "LLOYDIE WAS CAPTURED?!"

"Yes stupid. Now you two have to find the third member of your team. Tenten, you know what to do"

Tenten nodded and held up the stone bowl.

"...Wow. That was gay...Now farewell stupid people." Kikyos astral-projection faded out.

"Lloydie...gone?" Colette said out loud, her small brain un-yet able to grasp the idea.

The weapons user walked up to her and gave her a hug. "Don't worry, will find them"

...The touching scene was broken as a long, liquidy fart cut through the air. Tenten and Colette turned to find a man with spiky, dark brown hair standing 15 ft. away from them in a red, low-cut dress, red heels, and with red lipstick.

"Hi Kratos! You look pretty. Why are you here?" Colette said to the man dressed in drag.

"Um...I was looking for Lloyd" He replied as he tried to pull his short dress down lower. "I wanted to see if he thought this was too small. Oh well, Ill go ask Genis." Kratos left, doing a very sexy model walk out the door.

"Come on. We have to go!" Tenten stated as she dragged Colette to the bathroom.

Once again Tenten held up the bowl. The water swirled and turned multicolor.

Colettes eyes grew the size of saucers. "OHMYGOSH! Its so pretty! Rainbow is my favorite color"

"I know! Its one of mine too! My others are black, because its the color of Nejis hair. Blue, because its Nejis favorite color. Tan, because its the color of Nejis vest. Baby blue, because its the color of Nejis underwear. White, because-"

(10 minutes later)  
"-bic hair. Theres alot more then that but we gotta hurry up. Go on, jump in."

"Jump In? OHMYGOSH! I love that movie."

"Me too!"

(25 minutes later)  
"Ok, you go first"

"Go where? In the toilet"

"Yes"

Colettes eyes lit up."OHMYGOSH! One of my life-long dreams is to jump in a toilet that has a rainbow colored portal to another dimension in it! This is almost as good as the time I got animal crackers for Christmas!"

Colette and Tenten leaped into the portal. The two flew through the whirling multicolored tunnel.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Colette gleefully cried.

Werites Beacon: Raynard Residence

"AGH! Darnit'! I knew it wasn't a good idea to use Wills camode!" Moses exclaimed, furiously pumping a plunger in and out of the toilet.

"Only the natural cycle of decay in the wilderness can handle my manly dumps. Not some metal poop sucker"

All of a sudden a force sent Moses flying backwards into the tub. "WAAH! Oomph!" Moses rubbed his head. "The hell?" Feeling something moving on him he opened his eyes.  
"HI!" Colette greeted, 5 centimeters away from his face.  
Moses blinked a few times. "Uh...Hey"

"Huh? What is this thing?" Tenten was in the opposite end of the tub, struggling with the plunger on her head. She started getting up. "It wont come off, and I cant see."

"Ill help!" Colette exclaimed, then got off of Moses and went over to Tenten, grabbing the stick part and pulling.

Moses stared wide-eyed at them. "Are you toilet martians?"

Colette took her hands of the plunger and put her finger on her chin. "Um...I dont think so...maybe...whats one look like?"

Moses scratched his head. "Uh...I'm not sure"

Tenten tripped out of the bathtub and hit the floor. "Help please."

Moses stood up. "Here, hold your friend from the back. I should be able to help you with my manly strength"

"Thank you man with no shirt." Colette said as she grabbed onto Tentens waist.  
Moses spit into his hands and rubbed them together. He grabbed the handle and gave it a good pull. Nothing budged.

"Another one." He gave it another big pull. Again, nothing.  
He grunted. "One more time." He pulled with all his might. With a loud pop, Tenten and Colette were sent flying toward a nearby window.

-CRASH!-

That just happened to be closed.

Moses stared at the plunger that he still held.

"Whoops...I guess I dont know my own strength. At least I got it off her head…"  
"MOSES! What was that?! It sounded like glass shattering?!"  
Moses quickly put the plunger away and started arranging the curtain over the window. "Um, nothing wrong in here Will. A baseball flew into your neighbors window. Darned kids.

"Will!"

"What is it Norma?"

"Shirleys coming down the road!"

"Is Senel with her?"

"No!"  
"Hurry up and lock the door!"  
"She looks mad!"  
"Moses! Get out here now! Were going to need help barricading the door!"

"Uh, s-sure. Comin' Will!" He hesitantly replied as he finished trying to tidy up the bathroom.  
(AN: I should have mentioned this in the first chapter, Tenten-Shirley-and Colette are going to be majorly bashed throughout the story, just to warn you. Other characters will be minorly bashed, I dont pick favorites cuz I also do it to characters I like. The only characters I dont like are the main three and Kikyo. The rest I'm ok with. I eventually might add "Tales of the Abyss" characters.)


End file.
